Heard at the bar - Coober Pedy

1) An Aussie walks into a bar the other night wearing a single flip flop. A patron asks him "What happened mate? Did you lose a flip flop?" the guy replies, "Nah mate, I found one!"

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2) A Kiwi and an Aussie are fishing and drinking beer one afternoon. The Aussie says to the Kiwi, "If I was to sneak over to your house and make passionate love to your wife while you were out fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?" After a great deal of thought the Kiwi says, "I don't know about related, but it sure would make us even."

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​3) Two Aussies are adrift in a lifeboat. While going through their supplies one of them finds an old lamp. Rubbing it a genie appears. The genie tells them that he can only grant one wish. The lamp finder shouts out: "Turn the entire ocean into Fosters!" The genie claps his hands and the sea turns into beer. The genie disappears and only the lapping of beer on the hull breaks the stillness. In silence the two men consider their circumstances. The second Aussie turns to the first and says, "Nice going mate! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."